Ars Amatoria
by Methusala
Summary: During fifth year Sirius realizes his feelings for Remus, and he belives that Remus feels the same, even if he dosen't know it. To get Remus to come round Sirius must start over from square one learning a whole new facet of the "The Art of Love"


Title: Ars Amatoria (Latin: The Art of Love)  
  
Author: Me!  
  
Category: Romance (And I'll try to have some humor in it)  
  
Sub-Category: Slash  
  
Rating: PG-13 for mentions of sexual situations and violence (though not in this chapter)  
  
and language.  
  
Pairing: SB/RL  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, and several  
  
publishing companies I can't recall the names of. The title "Ars Amatoria" belongs to  
  
Ovid, even if it became public domain almost two millennia ago. I own nothing but my  
  
plot, and even it has probably been used, the clichéd piece of crap.  
  
Author's notes: Here it is my first fic. I HAVE ARIVED. REPENT, FOR THE END IS  
  
NEAR! MWAHAHAHAHAHA *Cough*Sputter*Cough* Err, sorry about that; it was  
  
extremely stupid, so I wrote it... that looks pretty crappy now that it's on paper. Ah, but I  
  
digress. As said earlier this is my first fanfic, raw and un-betaed, 'cause I'm too good for  
  
that shit, not really. Damn I ramble a lot don't I? Yes, this is slash, SB/RL to be exact. Go  
  
ahead and flame; I'll be highly amused to see what mindless dribble you can come up  
  
with. If, perhaps, you have a coherent, negative opinion then by all means give it. Of  
  
course, rampant praise is accepted as well. Okay, note I've used some parachronism in  
  
this; it takes place fifth year but it has Lily and James together already. It doesn't' show  
  
up much really. I did it because I wanted to have Remus and Sirius younger because it  
  
makes it easier for me to write, as its closer to the age I realized my homosexuality. I  
  
don't know why but fifteen seems a lot closer to thirteen than sixteen or seventeen. Also  
  
note I used ellipses and cut off words liberally during the fic for two reasons. One, J.K.R  
  
uses them herself (not so much cut off words.) And two, I tried to make it colloquial. I  
  
think that's all, on with the show!  
  
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~  
Ars Amatoria  
  
"Wakey, Wakey!"  
  
"Ungh"  
  
"Come on, Sirius; get off your lazy arse!"  
  
James pulled off the covers on Sirius's bed, took one look at him, and promptly  
  
returned them to their rightful place.  
  
"Bloody hell Padfoot, you look awful," Said James, "What were you doing last night?"  
  
It was a Hogsmead weekend and Sirius had been left alone with Remus, as Peter  
  
had detention for managing to... well it's best left unsaid; just know it involved  
  
Transfiguration class, a unicorn, and a suit of armor; and James was off with Lily, who he  
  
had finally corcered into going out with him. Sirius had sworn that he would stay away  
  
from James and Lily during their date and because of this his options of what to do very  
  
restricted. So he did what he always did when there was nothing to do, he got pissed on  
  
fire whiskey at the Hogshead (James and Lily could show up at the Three Broomsticks at  
  
any time.) In fact if Remus had not been with him he probably would be unconscious in  
  
some back alley in Hogsmead right now. Thus, using his own logic that made this  
  
dreadful hangover James's fought.  
  
"You know bloody well what I was doing last night Prongs. Trying to kill me  
  
through alcohol poisoning 'eh? Not a big enough man to do it yourself? Who's paying  
  
you? I bet it's Sna... James? Where did you go?"  
  
During his rant Sirius had sat up, only to find that James was long gone. With a  
  
sigh he plopped back down and pulled the covers over his head.  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  
  
"So where is Sirius?" asked Peter when James entered the Great Hall for  
  
breakfast.  
  
"Up in the dorm, looks like he and Moony had a little too much fun last night."  
  
joked James.  
  
"It was Sirius who had all the fun," Remus said, a slight blush forming on his  
  
cheeks at James's comment, though he did not know why.  
  
"Yes of course, we all know that Moony can't have a good time," laughed James.  
  
"Hey, I resent that!"  
  
The Marauders sans Sirius ate their breakfast while laughing over a prank they  
  
had planned until Peter piped in, "Shouldn't someone take Padfoot some breakfast?"  
  
"Yes, I suppose so," responded James. He then turned to Remus and said, "Why  
  
don't you do it, he wouldn't be in this situation if you told him he'd had enough last  
  
night."  
  
"I...but...err...that is to say... Damn you Prongs and your infuriating logic!"  
  
came Remus's half-hearted rebuttal, he found it hard to deny Sirius anything sometimes.  
  
James smirked, "Is that a yes than?"  
  
Remus fake pouted, "Fine, I'll do it."  
  
James and Peter shared a laugh at Remus's expense as he stacked some food on a  
  
plate to take up to their incapacitated friend.  
  
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- _-_-_-_-_-  
  
"Sirius...Sirius...."  
  
"..."  
  
Seeing that he wasn't going to wake up Sirius this way Remus leaned in close to  
  
his ear and....  
  
Thwack!  
  
"Bloody hell!"  
  
Sirius had rolled over and smash into Remus who, in turn, jerked away and  
  
spilled Sirius's breakfast all over himself.  
  
"Why is everyone insisting on waking me up today!? It's Sunday! Can't a guy  
  
sleep in on the weekend?" Sirius yelled.  
  
He looked at Remus and an expression of shock crossed his face, apparently it  
  
had taken him until now to there, his robes covered in egg and pumpkin juice.  
  
"What happened to you?"  
  
"Your breakfast happened to me," said Remus as calmly as humanly possible. (Or  
  
is it werewolfly possible?)  
  
However Sirius knew better, he had known Moony too long not to see that he was  
  
hurt by Sirius's words, he was only trying to help after all.  
  
'Shit,' thought Sirius, 'I hate when Moony gets upset like this. Wish I hadn't  
  
yelled; wish I could do something...' Sirius's thoughts trailed on, '...wish I could hold  
  
him in my arms, comfort him an—what the fuck was that!?'  
  
Luckily for Sirius Remus was walking over to his trunk to get a clean set of cloths  
  
so he could not see the...ah... interesting expressions playing across Sirius's face.  
  
'I Couldn't have just thought that could I?' Sirius thought in dismay, 'It's not like  
  
I fancy him or anthi—shit...shit ,shit, shit, shit, shit.'  
  
As Sirius was facing this inner dilemma Remus had gotten to his trunk and pulled  
  
out some clean clothes. He took off his robe and shirt (luckily nothing had gotten on his  
  
pants.), and Sirius, seeing him shirtless, realized he did indeed heave a thing for the  
  
werewolf.  
  
'Wonderful, I'm a pouf. This is just great.'  
  
"So I said to him; Padfoot are you even listening to me?"  
  
"Lost in though Sirius did not hear Remus's words.  
  
"Sirius? Sirius!"  
  
"Huh, uh, what?"  
  
"You weren't listening to me were you?"  
  
"Ah...sorry about that."  
  
Sirius cracked his most charming grin, at this Remus looked away but Sirius  
  
thought he saw a slight coloration in his cheeks.  
  
'Blush? He couldn't be? Maybe. I've never really see...'  
  
"Well," said Remus, his cheeks now their usually color, "I've got to go down to  
  
the library to get a book for that Charms essay. I'll leave you to get some more sleep."  
  
"Alright then, cya later."  
  
As Remus left Sirius Pondered what newfound feelings meant.  
  
'So the great Sirius Black, desire of most of the population of Hogwarts, likes a  
  
boy. Great, this is just great.'  
  
Sirius rubbed his forehead as if he had a migraine.  
  
'But what was with that blush? Remus couldn't possibly feel the same way. Could  
  
he?'  
  
"Ugh, I can't think about this right now, I need to sleep," Sirius mumbled. He  
  
found that thinking was entirely too exhausting, so he flopped back down on his four-  
  
poster.  
  
Crash!  
  
"God damn it!"  
  
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- +-+-  
  
Horror of Horrors!  
A Consciousness Conspiracy!  
Will Sirius Ever Sleep?  
Tune In Next Time To Find Out!  
Same Bat-Time!  
Same Bat-Channel!  
  
AN: One question, did anyone else have as much trouble as I did formatting the story so it shows up better in preview? It wasn't picking up tabs for some reason so I had to go back and replace every tab with a bunch of spaces. Well anyway there it is. I think it's a bit rushed and I repeated myself a bit, but whatever. I've always wanted to right fan fiction but never had the time. Thanks to my surgery I have a study hall instead of Gym for the rest of the year so I had time to write this. I'll update as soon as I can.  
  
Hey kid!....... I'm a fan-fic! Start all the reviewing!  
(Extra points if you understood that) 


End file.
